We'll see how brave you are. We'll see how fast you'll be running.

I've abandoned this blog for a bit. It just seems that every time I come to write something, it never seems interesting enough.
I don't really feel like talking to anyone at the moment. I'm quite content to be wrapped up in bed, sharing my thoughts with no-one but myself. I'm currently in a calm place (some would call it callous) & I have no desire to leave yet.

It makes a welcome change from the other week. I hadn't slept in three days & I had a severe case of the shakes. I couldn't even type properly anymore. I had a breakdown in tutor. My mind was just whirring around for 72 hours+ & it wouldn't let me go. I felt quite hopeless, a slave to my own body. It's not a nice feeling. I'm getting sleepless more often now. I find there's far too much in my stupid brain for me to handle! Haha.
I'm just so glad I feel better right now.
Although, who knows how I'll feel when exams roll around. I'm already feeling the stress. I have six exams next week! Bloody hell. I'm currently trying to save up money, but god knows I'll need a night out by the end of next week, haha.

***

I'm currently spending a lot of time by myself. Which in a way, isn't at all bad. I'm trying to sort out the mess that I'm in. The mess inside my head. I wish I could be the balanced happy person that I want to be. I wish I made sense.

Other than this, I've been feeling more positive than normal. I'm not quite sure what the cause is yet, otherwise I would bottle it (in case of emergency ;) Haha).

I just can't mention how this situation makes me feel. I feel like the old me has withered and died. I'm waiting for the better person to blossom now.